On my recent birthday, I received a card from one of my
fundamentalist relatives. As usual I was happy to get it; and
preparing to read of the goings on of my family on the other side of
the country as well as a birthday greeting I innocently opened it.
Along with the usual greetings I received a rather upsetting message
that hurt me very deeply. It was a list of "requests" from this
relative, that I love very much but whom I know I will have a difficult
time ever discussing my personal life with. Among the requests were
the expected admonitions that I do not dress conservatively enough,
that I should adopt a more conservative image, and take better care of
myself. But one life in capital letters was what hit home: "You need
to accept the Will of the Lord and stop demanding your own."
I did not have to have an explanation to know what they were
talking about: they had finally learned last month that I share a home
with a woman who I am not married to, and that we are not just
roommates or friends. They found out despite my Mother's trying to
keep this information from them because she knew this is what would
happen; my female partner has had severe medical problems which came up
in a family conversation. It was immediately suggested that these
problems were some ort of "punishment" for "sin". (I won't even
consider what the card would have said if it had been revealed to the
sender that the woman I love and I are both bisexual, and involved
intimately with same gender partners as well as each other, however
honest and consensual those relationships may be.)
My initial reaction was one of hurt, anger, and a brokenness
between this relative and myself. But I got to thinking about what she
had said, and after a few moments, I realized that she was off target
in what she said. Not because I was not accepting God's Will, but
because I was not "demanding my own" and I in fact, HAVE accepted God's
Will for my life. God made me a bisexual man, just as God made the
woman I am with a bisexual woman. And though our arrangement may not
work for some people, even some other bisexuals, it is the best way for
us. It has only brought us happiness, and enriched our lives, and has
given us an openness and acceptance of others that we might not be able
to understand if we had been made any other way. And constantly, God
sends us others who are like us - those who are seeking hope, guidance,
and strength. Even if all that we do is provide to others, like us, who
may have been suffering from the false illusion that they were
unacceptable to God because of who they are an assurance that God has a
purpose for them as well. Yet, at the same time we seem to encounter
an equal amount of those who are in opposition to us. Some are
Christian and some not, but most of them are of the conservative
Christian variety. We may share the exact same values as far as
treating others with love and respect, feeding the hungry and providing
shelter to the homeless, and being there for those who need us. Yet we
find ourselves separated by what seems a vast chasm when it comes to
issues such as the infallibility and inerrancy of Scriptures, sexuality
and sexual orientation, gender roles, and respect for religious
traditions outside of the Christian faith. And I think that, too, is a
challenge God has blessed us with: how do we find commonality with
those who persecute us and share in the bond of our faith in God while
maintaining the individuality that God has blessed us with?
I think that it all comes down to a matter of semantics, but
more than that I think it also involves the ability of letting the
common ground become the heart, words, and Spirit of Christ Himself as
opposed to debating whose version of the Bible is the "correct" one. I
am suggesting that liberal and conservative, heterosexual and LGBT,
legalistic and non-legalistic Christians seek to find their common
ground in Jesus as opposed to church and denominational doctrines and
creeds. I believe that far too many Christians are more concerned with
what they define as "true Christians" should not do and not concerned
enough with defining what Christians should do to embody Christ's
teachings. In my opinion, far too much time is spent debating whose
interpretation is more accurate and too little time is spent
exemplifying what Christ was all about. Far too many opportunities to
embody the True Loving Spirit of Jesus are sadly crucified and lost in
the name of the human need to be "right." To satisfy the human fear and
insecurity that only faith in God can remedy. To be "God's chosen" when
in fact God has chosen ALL of us as worthy of Love.
I am heartbroken that so much time and money that could be put
to use to help those who are truly in need is spent trying to convert
one group to another's version of Biblical Truth. That there are
people living without hope on the streets when thousands of dollars are
spent on "ex-gay" programs that in so many cases have led to
psychological damage to others. That school boards are arguing over
whether or not evolution or Creationism should be taught when violence
and drug abuse is rampant in our school systems. That there are
rallies of people who hold violent protests outside of abortion
clinics, both those who support the right to choose and those who do
not, at war with each other instead of working together and reaching
out to people in need. That after all this time HIV and AIDS are still
a health crisis to the LGBT Community and the rest of the world, and
more money is spent on programs that conceal medical facts and preach,
"Just be heterosexual and wait until marriage" than efforts to
eliminate the HIV virus. That so much time is spent debating whether
or not sexual orientation is a "choice" or not among the Christian
church than what it would take to feed, clothe, and provide shelter for
the homeless. Why can't everyone, regardless of sexual orientation,
sexuality, doctrine, denomination or belief put that all aside and work
together for the common good of all as Jesus taught?
Three questions for you, as one LGBT Christian to another.
There are no right or wrong answers, but you might find it interesting
to pose the same questions to others, at random and see what they say:
1. You are driving down the road in the middle of the night. You spot
a shape on the side of the road that you back up and realize is a
beaten and bloodied person. You cannot see their face, but they are
crying, "Help me." You immediately get out of the car and see that the
man is Fred Phelps, in his hand a broken, "God Hates Fags" sign. He
does not know you are not heterosexual. What would you do, and how
would you feel?
2. On the bus, you sit down next to someone who you have never met,
and they ask for a moment of your time. They are from a local church
that is raising money for a member of the church who is homeless to
have an operation, and ask if you have a few extra dollars to donate.
You reach for your checkbook but suddenly you realize that this church
is one that picketed outside the last local LGBT Pride festival, and
that this person was in that group waving a sign that said, "Save our
children from the homosexual agenda." They do not recognize you.
What would you do, and how would you feel?
3. You are on your way home, and as you turn into your neighborhood,
you see a broken down car in front of your house. A woman and her
child are standing next to the car. The car has a flat tire, and the
woman asks you if you can help. As you slow down, you see bumper
stickers from the Family Research Council and a sticker that says "God
made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." Your partner is standing out
front of your house waiting for you to come in. What would you do, and
how would you feel?
As I said, there are no right or wrong answers to these
questions. But they make me think about the opportunities God gives us
to grow as Christians beyond concepts of doctrine. They make me think
about what commonalities we as LGBT Christians might be able to find
with even the most conservative of Christians and about what blessing
those who persecute us is really all about. Let us take a look at some
things that Jesus said, and how some tenets of Christian faith can
truly reach across barriers that seem impossible, for with God nothing
is impossible.
Point One: God is the Creator of the Universe, and all of us
Even if you are talking with someone who is the most homophobic,
literalistic, the Bible is inerrant and infallible minded Christian,
this is a place of common ground I think that all who believe in God
can agree on. It doesn't matter if they think God thinks we are
"abominations," or that they think God is a big bearded "He," or of
they believe in a literal seven day Creation. Despite what some would
have us think our individual take on details of belief is not necessary
to share in the wonder of the reality of God.
Think about it: one thing we as LGBT Christians have in common with ALL
other Christians is the fact that we believe in, love, and worship God
and seek guidance and hope and strength through Jesus and the Holy
Spirit. That, to me, has always been the sole purpose of the Life and
Death of Christ: His Message was that every last one of us is a child
of God, and that includes those who persecute us. His answer to people
persecuting one another was very simple, that we should learn to be as
God is, unconditionally loving and focused on love for one another
instead of trying to take inventory of what we feel their "sins" are.
We need to stop defining God's Will for the lives of others based upon
what we know God's Will may be for our own lives, but may not be right
for another. We need to let go of our ego and the need to be "right"
and fearful adherence to dogma and doctrine override our ability to
feel the same kind of compassionate love and acceptance of all that
Jesus did and that God does. Show me a fundamentalist who wants to
convert anyone to their doctrine in a hostile and bitter manner and I
will show you someone who is deep down inside, very afraid, and very in
need of truly knowing God's Love. Perhaps that would be a good
starting point to remind these people who persecute us that they too
are loved unconditionally by God.
Point Two: Jesus Was the Physical Embodiment of God
It does not matter whether one believes in Immaculate Conception, that
He was born on December 25th, or exactly when or how the Second Coming
is supposed to occur. These are all to me details that are not
requirements to believe in Jesus Christ or to follow His teachings.
All that I believe is necessary to find common ground is that we in
some way feel that Jesus was God's Nature expressed in human form,
whether that means He was wholly Divine or wholly human or, as I feel,
both equally.
All Christians, whether they are "Every word of the Bible is literally
and infallibly true," or "I love and respect Jesus as the greatest
Teacher and Gift God ever sent us but question whether or not He was
truly the flesh and blood Son Of God," and everywhere in between,
regardless of denomination or sexuality/sexual orientation have one
thing in common and that is that we follow Christ. Yes, our
understandings may be different, but His Spirit never lies. And His
most important Commandment, to love God and one another, is one thing
that all Christians can agree on. So rather than argue over we believe
that Jesus is God's Divine Prosecutor for sins on an unknown Judgment
Day as some Christians do, or whether He was simply a Great Teacher,
why not focus on His parables and the things He referred to as really
living the Christian Life? I think someday perhaps it will be possible
when people realize that regardless of what one's belief is about what
Jesus thought of issues regarding sexual orientation and sexuality, He
was, and God is far more concerned about our spiritual behavior than
our sexual behavior -- that is to say, how we treat one another than
who we love.
Point Three: Regardless of What Else Jesus Said, He Said We Are Not To
Judge Others
This can sometimes be a difficult place to find common ground, but even
with someone who is a Biblical literalist it cannot be denied that
Jesus instructed us not to judge. Yes, the common response is, "I am
not judging you, God is, read the Bible," but even that is a judgment
based upon their understanding of the Bible and their interpretation
and beliefs. It cannot be more "literal" than "Judge not, that you be
not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and
with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." (Matthew
7:1-2).
And in every instance in life, I have seen this to be true; think about
it for a moment: Whoever begins the judgment, be it conservative
Christian groups who judge LGBT people or LGBT groups who judge them
right back, each with our own interpretations playing "scripture wars"
with the other, it just perpetuates itself, and no one wins. Anyone
who reads my writing will know that I do not believe in a literal
"devil" or personification of evil. But if I did, I can imagine it
doing something to pit one Christian against the other (in this case
the non-legalistic and affirming versus the Biblical literalist) in a
battle of doctrinal semantics over something as natural and God-given
as human sexuality in order to divide the Oneness that Jesus wanted for
everyone.
Point Four: There Is Wisdom In The Bible
Bible issues are difficult to discuss with those who persecute us, but
regardless of whether or not we define it as a book about God written
by people or a book written directly by God, there is a treasure of
spiritual wisdom to be found within it. Even if we may interpret some
parts as metaphors, parables, and fictional stories that represent
spiritual Truth and another may see every word as historical fact, we
all seek to find God and become closer to God and Christ by reading it.
And the biggest message I think everyone wants to find within the
books is one of hope in times of fear and adversity, faith when faith
seems absent, and how faith, hope and love really do create miracles,
even today. The teachings of Christ about faith in God and the power
of love and positive thinking predate any of today's bustling self-help
industry. He taught us very simply that the "Kingdom" so many seek in
their lives -- the purpose and meaning that all of us seek, the deep
connection with God that all of us, regardless of who we are, seek --
is not something we can look for out there but it is within and all
around us. Jesus was just showing us how to open our eyes and see it.
Let me give you an example of how two people with diametrically
opposing views of a much debated book of the Bible can still be
correct: Revelation. Where many and especially those who would be
quick to persecute a Christian who is LGBT see it as a literal forecast
of events to come, and a "final judgment" (though it is overlooked by
some that Christ mentioned that it is those who are loving and kind to
others who would stand more favorably on that day than others who were
judgmental and placed law before love), I see Revelation as a parable
written by a people under persecution that illustrates a beautiful,
timeless, common and eternal Truth. Regardless of how difficult life
may seem, regardless of how much pain we are enduring, regardless of
how our own individual world seems to be ending and plagued with
"demons" and forces and events beyond our comprehension, if we turn to
God, whether our belief is in God within or somewhere "up in Heaven",
we will be "caught up in the Spirit" in our own sort of "Rapture" and
let God handle the things we cannot as individuals. And, somehow,
after all of the trials and tribulations, God will bring us through and
"make all things new," and more glorious than before. And most times
that becomes a reality through our own finding the Kingdom in our
hearts. Through a deep personal relationship with and trust in God
through Christ. Simplified, whatever we are going through if we trust
in God peace will come.
I have told certain people who take Revelation literally as a
prediction of a time when the world will end and God will cast their
enemies into hell and end their suffering of my belief that it is a key
to surviving difficult times here and now instead of some future
specified date and I have received a few very positive responses. I
did not challenge their belief that I was going to hell, nor dispute
their beliefs about the End Times. I simply gave them another way of
looking at something that they could apply and use in their lives here
and now. And I think a few actually appreciated it. For where they
have no solid documented proof that the end times are in motion, most
everyone can relate to the reality of God carrying them through
difficult times and bringing them through to a better place. They have
experience of a new "heaven" within after enduring the various
"plagues" that may have tormented them but that God saw them through.
Point Five: God Works In Mysterious Ways
It is this common yet often difficult to accept fact that creates the
allure of a fundamentalist mindset, and the ensuing fear that results
from such, which in turn leads to the persecution of those of us who do
not accept or feel the need for such a belief system: to me, faith in
God and trust in God when we do not have "all the answers" spelled out
in black and white is a very solid faith indeed. Many people adopt the
idea that "The Bible said it, I believe it, and that settles it and you
better do the same thing," for the same reasons people may seek out
psychics to predict their future or contact the spirit of a deceased
relative, dabble in occult practices however benign their motivation
may be, or spend their lives seeking out unexplained phenomena (and
please note-I am not condemning or judging these choices or
fundamentalism, only making a point). They are seeking answers to
questions that there may be no black and white answers to. To exalt
the Bible, and in many cases to place the "infallibility of Scripture"
above the words of Jesus, Who taught that Love was more important than
Laws, as the final rule conveniently provides a sense of false security
that relies more on what the Bible says than a personal and individual
relationship with and faith in God.
I would venture to suspect that most if not all people who persecute
members of the LGBT Community are doing so for one reason: they are
afraid, and they are afraid because they do not understand, and some
are too afraid to try to understand. Jesus pointed the way to that
understanding through a teaching of Love. He mentioned that there were
a lot of things that we were not ready to see. Jesus hinted in His
ministry that all that we were to know and to discover as we listen to
Spirit was not to end with the Bible or His ministry. "I still have
many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now." (John 16:12)
He encouraged us to remain child like, in order to see God; knowing
that most children are free of judgment and division, that they see a
wondrous world around them abundant with miracles, life and love, and
do not need "explanations" and detailed breakdowns of everything; some
things simply "are." God simply "is," there is no need of "proof" to
know God is real and loves us. I believe that until children are
taught, they possess no judgments on any other group of people, based
on sexual orientation, denomination, religious belief and so on .
Jesus simultaneously affirmed diversity and peace among all of God's
people as He encouraged us to not be so concerned with what God's Will
was for other people. Rather we are to focus on doing our part to care
for one another and try to embody the same type of unconditional love
for one another that God has for each and every one of us. And there
are going to be things in this world that we do not understand. My
point being for all of this: those who persecute us may not understand,
and in the fear that creates, they may become defensive and want to
lash out. Perhaps we could bless them by helping them through a
situation they may be enduring such as the unexpected death of a loved
one that they do not understand. Sometimes a fellow Christian
regardless of how far apart they may be from us on beliefs may be
hurting over a situation that they cannot explain through Scripture,
and maybe they don't need "reasons" but only someone to love and care
with compassion. Real Christian compassion and love can cross over any
conflict in belief, and for a conservative Christian to see someone who
is LGBT, someone who they have only seen as a "sinner and sodomite"
reach out from our heart and care about them can truly be a powerful
moment. I had a moment in my past where an extremely conservative
Christian went out of his way to do needed repairs to my home, and not
once did he try to "convert" me or persecute me, but was very kind,
even though I could tell he did not approve of my beliefs or my life.
And when he left, I went out of my way to write a letter commending him
to his boss for a promotion, hoping that it would help him and his
family. And I actually felt it in my heart, I felt my heart grow from
that. We were able to share in the Christian journey together by doing
good for each other without engaging in a debate about who was the
"more authentic" Christian. So as with all things, all things are
possible with God's Love.
Just as God loves each and every one of us with the same
unconditional Love as LGBT Christians, God loves those who persecute us
as well. God knows that these people have a different understanding,
and God is beyond the human emotion we understand and those who
persecute us experience as fear and understands everything, for
everything has a purpose in Divine Intelligence. It is great that all
of us, as the hymn says, "have a friend in Jesus" to better enable us
to respond to the persecution and hate that is born of this fear and
misunderstanding. It does not matter that all Christians do not affirm
diversity-God does. And God will send us angels to be there for us who
do understand and support our individuality and who we are. And who
are those angels? Other children of God. And sometimes we can act as
angels for others, other persecuted LGBT or somehow different
Christians. That is what I strive to do in service to God to show my
thanks for the abundant life God has blessed me with.
As a bisexual man who loves both a woman and a man and who is
also very radical in my views on sexuality and diversity, even to some
of the more liberal Christians, but who also has a deep love and
devotion to God and commitment to following the Spiritual Teachings of
Christ, I often find myself persecuted from all directions. But then I
remember: it is because of the things that some people persecute me for
that I have had the opportunity to share my faith with others who might
never otherwise know the peace and hope and faith and love that
following Christ's way brings. He speaks the truth that what we sow we
shall also reap. That those who place Law before Love can become
"whitewashed tombs" as the Pharisees and miss the Kingdom within in all
its glory. That Love is the Highest of any Commandment. I do all that
I can to reach out to others like me who have been made to feel as if
they are "unacceptable" to God and unable to be a Christian without
abandoning who they are. When they see that I am who I am and God
Loves me for who I am they suddenly question their turning away from
God or Christianity and have reconsidered the idea that perhaps they
have a place in Christianity as well. I do my very best to show mercy
to anyone who persecutes me, who is in a fearful place. Because I
understand they are coming from a place of fear and insecurity in the
realizing that the world is not always black and white but instead a
glorious rainbow of diversity that God Created in Infinite Love and
Wisdom. Just because we do not understand something there is no reason
to be afraid. Not everyone loves me, or my chosen path, but I do my
best to do as God would do and has done for me, to love them
unconditionally as a precious child of God. Jesus posed the question:
"For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?"(Matt 5:46)
And He also said, "Love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for
nothing in return; and your reward will be great; you will be
(children) of the Most High." (Luke 6:35). And my reward has been
great. How about you?
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Other Articles By John H. Campbell:
Also In This Issue:
Giving Context to a Clobber Passage:
An Exegesis of 1 Corinthians
