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Flexing Our Spiritual Muscles
Our lives are filled with learning experiences. Just as a baby learns
to walk by repeatedly attempting these new movements and actions, so we,
passing through a variety of experiences move closer toward being
perfected spiritually. Perhaps the reason "crisis" was chosen to
describe this spiritual process lies in the fact that often these
experiences are painful. Certainly spiritual crises can affect us
emotionally, physically, financially, or we may even need to relocate
geographically. Spiritual crises usually indicate that, like Abraham,
we have been called, out of the situations which were familiar, and into
new and undefined territory. I believe that as we grow, we pass through
a series of spiritual challenges which serve to strengthen our faith and
set our feet more firmly in the Rock of our salvation.
Twice in my life I have needed to find a new spiritual home. The first
time occurred when my memberships of both the local Baptist church and
the A.O.G. congregation were cancelled, due to rumours that I had
returned to a lesbian lifestyle. In one fell swoop I lost both my
spiritual homes and also my Christian friends. I had moved into the
heterosexual realm originally because Christians who I respected had
repeatedly told me that God could not love me because I was a lesbian.
God had other plans opening up, and soon I found a church - with a
charismatic pastor - which welcomed all people as the family of God. It
was through the encouragement of this church that I ultimately studied
for my degree, and later became ordained clergy. After 20 years once
again circumstances changed, and after wrestling and arguing with God
for about two years, I finally accepted God's challenge to leave this
spiritual home. This time God called me out into a new fellowship and a
new ministry which both challenges me and breaks new ground. The crisis
I faced at this time was partially concerned with my realization that
somehow I could no longer see God at work in my own church, nor did I
hear preaching on salvation or the love of Jesus. To proclaim a
welcome for our community, to seek to work with those affected by the
HIV/AIDS virus, these are good things, but as Christians I believe our
prime responsibility is to uphold Jesus, and to live a life of love. It
is in the living a life of love that we will be called to challenge all
social injustices, to feed the poor, to nurture the lonely and aged, and
to care for all those with life threatening illnesses.
Our spiritual crises are not always found in shake-ups as
earth-shattering as these. When Jesus commanded the paralytic to take
up his bed and walk (Mark 2:11), it was this act of obedience despite
all his previous experiences which wrought a new understanding of God
and a new step of faith. In those years gone by when as a butch dyke I
was beaten and raped, though I cried to God asking for an answer, it was
not until recent years I found the answer. Nowadays when I stand "at
the barricades" with others who are protesting against violence, against
sexism, against gender inequality or racial discrimination I know what
we are saying. From deep within comes the certainty that I have been
there, and God has been there with me.
Each crisis in our lives is reflected in our spiritual dimensions. When
we hear lies or slander, we are reminded of Christ's truthfulness. When
we see society deliberately split asunder by racial tensions, we
remember that we are all God's children, and each is sister/brother,
mother/father to us. When we are affected directly or indirectly by
dishonesty or dishonourable conduct, we recall that we are asked to live
lives which reflect purity, forbearance, kindness and justice. When we
are caught up by conflict the Spirit within whispers words of serenity
and peace. Each crisis brings us one step closer to the realization of
God's plan that we each become perfected persons.
Our individual responses to specific spiritual crises in our lives
varies, yet always includes interaction with God. Sometimes we react
with the emotional states detailed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. Sometimes
we build barriers around ourselves, and these same barriers prevent us
from being healed, and thus able to move on. Oftentimes we withdraw to
spend time alone with God, just as was Christ's habit. But whether we
react with questions, tears or anger, at some stage we will be aware of
the enfolding love of God. Like any traveller, as we explore the route
before us, we will at times need to leave behind the unneeded luggage,
and it may be that this is the reason for these experiences. we may
even call ourselves privileged to find that the result of this spiritual
winnowing is that we have passed from wishing and hoping to believing
and knowing, as did Job, that God is our all in all.
It is because of God, who has created and loved us from our conception;
God who wore human flesh so that God could experience humanity in
totality; and because of God, Spirit of Love, living and breathing
through our lives, we may confidently proclaim: "We are not alone!"
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